I have been thinking a lot about gratitude and patience this year.
I think those may be the biggest lessons of 2020.
This has been a year of never ending bad news that seems to get worse by the day. From the virus, to government mandates, financial hardships, or political and cultural divide… it seems everyone is complaining about something they feel they cannot control.
That’s why I turn away from the spectacle of mainstream news after a quick check in. Those are problems I cannot control.
That’s why I don’t engage with bickering on social media. Those are mostly people’s opinions, another thing I cannot control.
That’s why I’m writing this blog post instead of posting a meme for popularity or making snarky controversial remarks.
I would prefer to connect with my people directly, and express openly what is in my heart.
That’s why I don’t scream at these problems. I do see them, but I’d rather dream of solutions. I’d rather remain grateful for all that I have and how far we have come. I try to cultivate patience for attaining all that I still want to achieve.
I think I first learned this long ago as a child of a single mother with limited resources… a lesson from the Rolling Stones no less, so go ahead and sing along with me if you know the tune:
“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need”
I know it seems trite at a glance, but really, it is solid advice. I have been disappointed more often than not when I focus on getting what I want, the way I want, when, where, and how I think it should happen. That’s when I get frustrated, depressed or even angry at the world.
That’s never good, and only tends to make me feel worse without accomplishing much of anything.
But then I can shift my perspective to look around me and find the beauty and wonder in all the amazing things I already have. I can use gratitude as a daily tool to appreciate all the people, places and things that make my life what it is today.
I can dream a better dream for the future, but I do so with patience, understanding, and an undying faith that things WILL work out some way, some day, exactly as they should. It’s not that I give up and wait for things to fall out of the clear blue sky… No way. I just keep working on what I can control in my life and somehow things usually work out even better than I could have planned.
That’s how we leave room for magic to happen instead of living life like a spoiled brat with a list of demands. Someone once explained it to me like this…
Imagine God (or the Universal energy you identify with), as a loving parent who gave you some toys (those toys being all the various elements of your life). That parent will love to see you joyfully playing with your toys, caring for them and being thankful to the parent for providing them, and that will inspire them to give you more. But if that same parent sees you throw your toys out the window, destroy them out of anger or just ignore them all together, they will think you don’t like what you’ve already been given so they will not be inspired to give you more.
That made sense to me and I try to remember it when I get in a funk.
No one is perfect and I am the first to admit I have my slips, but I use gratitude and patience to keep me on track.
Here are some examples of my gratitude and patience practice for today:
I’m grateful for having my own website and a network of like-minded friends, all of which have created this moment of you reading my blog.
I want to be patient as I create change in this world through formation of a non-profit. It is in process but taking a bit longer than expected. I am confident knowing we are on the right path and we are already doing all that we can.
You are invited to check out the non-profit work in progress at operationstoke.com
This message also just reminded me of one of my favorite old paintings. I still have this hanging in my home and it helps me remember the need for patience while we do our work and wait for the universe to unfold.
“Waiting Pool” Original Painting by Janessa Bookout
I painted this around 2000 in my senior year of high school, with the concept of patience as I awaited decisions from colleges to tell me what new adventures my future would hold.